PEOPLE - Cover Story, February 14, 2002

Small Blessings

Almost every one of them has a special memento. For one young widow, it is a crushed wedding ring. For another, a brick from the house she and her husband had just built. For still others, it is a cardboard box of clippings that recount the story they do not want to remember, but will be unable to forget.

These are precious artifacts to those who lost loved ones on Sept. 11. But for at least 50 women, there are even more cherished reminders of the husbands who died that day. They are wives who were pregnant when the planes crashed into the World Trade Center, the Pentagon and in Pennsylvania -- and they have since become proud and loving mothers. Of 52 new babies born to the young widows of 9/11, the first was 8-lb., 10.5-oz. Farqad Chowdhury, born at 9:13 a.m. EST on Sept. 13 in Queens. As of Feb. 12, the most recent was 5-lb., 12-oz. Robin Ornedo, born Jan. 31 in Los Angeles. The children include firstborns, a pair of twins and some who arrived on parents' birthdays or anniversaries. They are Irish, Italian, African-American, Latino, Christian, Jewish and Muslim. And their parents hail not just from New York and Washington but also from Boston, Arizona, Toronto and even Sligo, Ireland.

On Jan. 24, 31 of the mothers were brought together in New York City by PEOPLE for this article and these photos, and they quickly formed a confederacy of mourning and support. (Invitations were extended to the entire group of new mothers, but for a variety of reasons some were unable to attend.) "We're all asking God the same questions," says Staten Island's Dawn Shay, 27, mother of Robert, 5, Ryan, 2, and Jonathan, who was born Oct. 22. Adds Holli Silver, 38, of New Rochelle, N.Y., mother of Rachel, 3, and 5-month-old Danielle: "We don't have to ask 'How are you?' because we all know how we're doing. We all know what we went through."

These wives and their husbands came together in different ways. Some, like Mindy and Fredric Gabler of Manhattan, were high school sweethearts; others met at work, as Holli and David Silver did. Baraheen Ashrafi and Mohammad Chowdhury, both from Bangladesh, had a traditional arranged marriage. The mothers themselves also share many similarities. They are young women (the oldest is 40, the youngest, just 25). And, it seems, each was married to the best guy in the world. "An angel on earth," recalls Gigi Nelson, 40, of Huntington, N.Y., who gave birth to Lyndsi on Oct. 6. Their fondest memories are of vibrant men and the joys -- and challenges -- of building a family. Most remember a sweet shared moment, perhaps a goodbye kiss, before their husbands left for work.

As they confront the daunting task of raising children without the partners they assumed would always be there, some are already facing dilemmas -- such as the one handed Courtney Acquaviva, 31, of Glen Rock, N.J., mother of a toddler, Sarah, and 8-week-old Paul: "My daughter and I were eating breakfast the other day and she asked me, 'Is Daddy still dying?' How do you answer that? She's 3."

They are also learning to handle chores both tedious and torturous -- applying for charity relief, making mortgage payments, filling out insurance forms, seeking jobs and arranging child care. And requesting death certificates. After losing her husband, Linda Dickinson, 35, of Marlboro, N.J., mother of Erin, 8, and 3-month-old Patrick Joseph, found tackling the mountain of paperwork "a completely overwhelming task." And as they get back to living, some are even wondering when it will be permissible to laugh again. "Sometimes I feel self-conscious," says Jane Terrenzi, 28, of Long Island, the widow of Brian and mother of 3-month-old Elizabeth. "I was at a party recently, and I felt like people were thinking, 'Why is the young widow having such a good time?'" Jenna Jacobs, 27, mother of 5-month-old Gabriel, who lost her husband, Ari, 29, has also felt that scrutiny, but says, "When I'm laughing, it doesn't mean I'm not hurting." Overall, though, there has been untold sympathy from a country doing its best to share the burden of sorrow. Dena Smagala, 31, of Holbrook, N.Y., who lost her firefighter husband, Stanley, and gave birth to Alexa Faith on Jan. 9, treasures the handmade Christmas ornaments sent to her by kids from all over the U.S., and Jacobs is deeply grateful for each of the 2,000 cards and letters she's gotten.

Even those kindnesses cannot erase the fear of what one young widow calls "the void, the empty chair." And so they sleep with their husband's well-worn pajamas, surrounded by pets and their babies. Ultimately, the women know that these final gifts from their fine, lost men are what will best sustain them. "How can such a tiny person do such a big job?" wonders Taryn McHale, 32, of Long Island, cradling baby Collin Thomas. "He's helping me to laugh again, and to live. He's healing my heart."

The inspiring stories in the following pages capture the challenges and hopes of special young mothers who, despite devastating loss, are beginning to rebuild their lives.

Dena Smagala

An Empty Place at the Dinner Table

Last spring, when Stanley Smagala Jr. saw the dinner table set for three, he asked his wife, Dena, 31, "Who's coming?" She handed him a baby's bib inscribed with the words "I Love Daddy." Now the empty place at the Smagala table in Holbrook, N.Y., is Stanley's. Nearly four months before daughter Alexa Faith was born on Jan. 9, he died when the Twin Towers collapsed. The couple had struggled to conceive a child and weathered a miscarriage in August 2000. Stanley chose the name to celebrate "keeping the faith to have a baby," says Smagala, a teacher. She'll treasure his memory through videotaped tributes his friends are preparing, plans to rename their neighborhood block after him and talks she'll have with Alexa. "I'll tell her all the little things," Smagala says. "How he liked hot chocolate made from milk, not water."

Written by GALINA ESPINOZA, THOMAS FIELDS-MEYER, SUSAN HORSBURGH, RICHARD JEROME, MIKE NEILL, JOANNA POWELL, SUSAN SCHINDEHETTE, MICHELLE TAUBER, ALEX TRESNIOWSKI Reported by K.C. BAKER, VICKIE BANE, SHARON COTLIAR, SAMANTHA HENRY, DIANE HERBST, CAROLINE HOWARD, JENNIFER LONGLEY, JANE SIMS PODESTA, DEBBIE SEAMAN